


magnets that repel

by Gavroche_A



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Dean is being an ass, Hopeful Ending, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post 15x08, Purgatory, but he knows he is now which is the first step to stopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21793783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gavroche_A/pseuds/Gavroche_A
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 93





	magnets that repel

“I’ll go.”

The words are out of Dean’s mouth the second Michael disappears through the door, before he can even think about what he’s offering. He puts his body between Cas and the rift. 

“Dean—“ it’s the wrong time to be thinking this, but damn is it good to hear his name like that again, to hear Cas say it. Angry as he sounds, he always makes Dean’s name seem like it  _ means _ something.

Dean cuts him off before he can say something that shatters the illusion. “No, Cas, listen, somebody should stay here to fill Sam and Eileen in when they get back.”

“So we leave a note.” He’s so damn stubborn, crossing the space between them like a storm rolling in, and Dean can feel his heart beat faster the closer he gets to the rift. To vanishing. Again.

“Oh, yeah, that sounds like a great plan. ‘ _Dear Sam and Eileen, we’ve gone to Purgatory to pick flowers. Don’t follow us. Love, Dean and Cas_.’ C’mon, man, think about this.”

Cas narrows his eyes. “Then I’ll go.”

Dean laughs. “Like hell you will, Cas. You won’t be there five minutes before—“

“Before what? Something goes wrong? I ‘screw up’? I recognize that you don't trust me, Dean, but I  _ am _ capable of retrieving a flower without letting you down.”

Dean blinks at him, at the hurt just barely concealed under the anger in his eyes, and he bristles. 

“Really? Cause last time you played fetch Rowena died.”

He knows it’s not fair, especially not after seeing her today. She’s happy, probably better off than she was before, and she’d insisted that they get over themselves and make up. She’d probably drop a curse on Dean in a heartbeat for using her like this, if she could hear him, so it’s a damn good thing she can’t. 

Cas flinches, eyes the rift behind Dean with a steely expression. He gets the feeling that if there wasn’t a ticking clock tying them both to the glowing tear in worlds behind him, Cas would already be gone. He tries not to think about how much that scares him. “I know change isn’t something you like, Dean, and you’ve made it abundantly clear it’s not something you’re good at. But sometimes things have to.” Dean feels something twitch in his chest, an ache that he stomps on before he can begin to try to understand it. There’s not time right now for his feelings. “I did what I had to do, which is what I’m going to do now.”

He takes a step forward, moving as if to dodge around Dean, and the hunter mirrors him, reaching out a hand that doesn’t quite touch his shoulder. He freezes with a few inches separating them, and the tension is so solid it’s as if they’re two like magnets being shoved together.

“Step aside.”

Dean shakes his head. He’s doing this wrong, he knows, but he has no idea how to turn himself around. 

Cas raises his voice, but he makes no move to push him out of the way. “Dean. We don’t have time for this.”

He doesn’t budge, snarling back at him. “You know what else we don’t have time for? You getting yourself killed the second you walk through that rift because every Leviathan in Purgatory smells a tasty treat!”

Cas laughs, a short bitter sound. “I’m sorry if my death would inconvenience you, Dean, I suppose I didn’t think about that considering I’m already dead to you.”

The words land like a slap, and Dean drops his hand, staring at Cas. For the first time since all of this started, he doesn’t look away when Dean meets his eyes.

“That’s not what I meant.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair and looking at his feet, the door, the ceiling, anything to avoid looking Cas in the eyes and seeing the hurt that he knows he put there.

The angel’s voice is cold and flat when he speaks. “Then enlighten me, Dean, what exactly you thought I’d hear when you said that to me?”

Dean can still feel eyes on him, knows that Cas is staring him down, waiting for some kind of explanation. Dean knows he owes him one. He gets that he’s being a jerk, and that it’s not fair, and that he’s actively ruining the one good thing left in his life. But there’s too much going on right now to face that, so he just straightens his shoulders, sets his jaw, and looks Cas in the eyes.

“You’re right. We don’t have time for this.”

A small spark of hope Dean hadn’t noticed until now dies in Cas’ eyes. Dean’s not sure what he was hoping for; he knows by now that Dean’s an ass, that he poisons everything around him, that to try to get close to him, to depend on him, is to set yourself up for pain and disappointment. He should stop seeing something that’s worth saving when he looks at Dean. Save them all a broken heart. 

Still, the fact that Cas has believed in him, even now, sends a sharp pain through his chest. He pulls his phone out of his pocket. “I’m texting Sam. If we don’t come back, he’ll know the plan. Maybe he can track down Michael and try again.”

Cas just nods curtly, watching the rift as Dean types out a quick message. 

He nods at Cas when it’s done, sticking his phone back in his pocket. Cas produces two angel blades from his sleeve, wordlessly offering Dean one. He catches a small wince, and starts to comment about it, but stops. Cas steps up beside the rosy next to him, bathing his face in orange light, and suddenly Dean’s in a hundred different places at once. He sees Cas, standing in front of another tear in the universe, an angel blade protruding from his chest. He’s in Purgatory again, watching Cas slip out of his gross as whisking blue light pulls him away, screaming for Dean as he vanishes. Then it’s the same scene again, but this time Cas shoves him away, tells him to  _ go,  _ and Dean can see in his eyes that he thinks he deserves this, because he let the Winchester’s down. He remembers opening his eyes to that gray forest for the first time, and looking around to find himself alone.

He’s not going back there like that. Not this time. 

“Wait.”

He catches Cas’ sleeve, fighting against everything that’s screaming at him not to reach out. He looks at Cas, and for the first time since Mary died, he lets himself see someone he loves. “We go in there together. We stay together. We leave together.” When Cas doesn’t say anything, Dean clears his throat, and tries again. “You’re...not an inconvenience, Cas. And you’re not a tool. You’re…” he trails off, desperately searching for something to say that won’t send Cas running the second they step through the gate. 

Like always, Cas saves him from himself.

He tugs his sleeve out of Dean’s grasp to wrap his fingers around Dean’s hand. It’s not soft, not exactly, but it soothes the part of Dean that had been left raw when Cas healed him, earlier, being careful not to touch him, to keep his grace between their skin. It’s not forgiveness, because Dean hasn’t really apologized, not yet. But it’s a start.

“Together.” Cas says, meeting his eyes, and Dean nods at him, closing his fingers gently around Cas’ hand, like he’s cradling something fragile and precious.

Dean takes a deep breath. 

Cas shifts the blade in his hand. 

They step through the rift.


End file.
